Happy Sunday Ladies and Gents! Life has been very busy lately and I have some big things in the works that I can’t wait to share with you. I will have to be patient and wait until next week or the week after to go public.
In the mean time, focusing intently on this new “project” has drawn my focus away from other areas of my life. And by other areas, I mean my health. I’ve been all adrenaline with an anxious/nervous ball in the pit of my stomach. I am the queen of using food to suffocate emotions and this particular stage of my life is no different. I have at least become cognizant of my behavior and have tried to sequester some of my pent up emotions in other ways.
Yesterday, I decided the next appropriate vice was shopping! I know, I know, talk about trading one addiction for another… The difference was that I talked to my husband before I headed out, appropriately budgeted and was ready for some responsible shopping. What I really wanted was some oversized sweaters/button downs to lounge around it. Cute but not restrictive if you know what I mean. I was surprised to find that pastels were everywhere!! I grabbed a few things and headed to the changing room.
I snapped some pictures and sent to my girlfriend for discussion. We both concluded that the clothes were just OK. The fit on the two sweaters was awesome but the colors really didn’t make it for me.
When I got home and looked at the photos from my adventure I realized that someday I would look back on my life at this very moment and think “Why did I obsess?!” I seemingly have it all: family, friends, job, house, car, comfort… What more could a girl want? It dawned on me: if I had been this size and shape my whole life, I wouldn’t be obsessing at all. This place here, it’s just fine. There is nothing wrong with my body. It is perfect. My journey has not been perfect, however, and the road that has lead me here has been challenging. I have fears, regrets, anxiety… I have a compulsion to manage my health in a manner born of adversity. Maybe it’s time to focus on a life of gratitude instead. No, I can’t change overnight but I’m aware that change is in the making.
Do you think your habits have evolved with you and are designed to help you or do you think there are remnants in your subconscious that may need to be swept from the present back into the past?